Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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