Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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