sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
