So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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