Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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