I never want to see another naked old woman again.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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