my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
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Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
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I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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