Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
