you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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