If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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