some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
they're like a gay fantastic four
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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