are you still at the devil's house?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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