im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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