I accidentally had phone sex last night
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
