I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Just cropdusted the office
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
