What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
