now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
