"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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