Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
