Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Operation Purity has been aborted
cat food counts as protein by the way
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
