Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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