Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
