Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
