I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
