did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
