Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
and you fell through a lawn chair
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
