Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
