i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
