Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
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I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
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Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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