I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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