Are we in a gay sports bar?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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