i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I haven't been this sober since birth.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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