i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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