I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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