We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I have tasted many bathrooms
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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