none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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