Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
