Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
