just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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