I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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