Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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