I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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