Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
And then he peed in my hair
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