I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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