my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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