So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
