carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
birth control should be required to get into college
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
