I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
