do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
