I'm really into asian looking animals
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
This is my gift to your gina
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
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