Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
