bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
