My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize