just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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