Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
