BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
