week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
