his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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