I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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