I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
my being single is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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