Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
