If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
