just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize