My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
