oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
